Ok. So this is my first Blog entry and it could be my last of 2008. **Nervous Anxiety** So, Here it goes.......
What the hell happened to me? What happened to me that made me this non-closer of a relationship or sexual act kinda guy? So, I recently had a friend ask me how long has it been since I had sex, and I told her it was approaching a year on January 5th (It's extremely rare, but there are anomalies to the male species that aren't predicated solely on sexual intercourse) and she reacted funny to it.
Immediately, I had several thoughts jump into my head as to how I'm to ascertain the meaning of her "funny" reaction. It could be one of a couple of things, they are as follows:
- A- She just didn't believe me because I'm attractive and no way should I have gone that long without dropping the bomb on some young lady.
- B- She didn't believe me because I'm attractive and I could be lying.
- C- She believed me, and I'm some sort of loser with no game or extreme sexual prowess (basically, suck at how to get a woman).
- D- She believed me, but figured "hey, it's been a year and he probably sucks in bed"!
Now, her "funny" reaction set off a chain of events in my head which prompted me to explore within myself just what's going on with me in that department. First of all, I don't fault her at all for her reaction so I wasn't offended or anything. I do however hope that she's not the judgemental type, meanwhile launching an anti-judgment campaign against people who judge her. It just wouldn't make sense. I presume that's not the case, but again, she's not the issue. Not even remotely. The issue at hand is, just what's wrong with a man going a year without sex!
This is not to say that I haven't entertained sexual overtures and advancements, however slight, nor does it imply that I haven't made advances, but the only truth is for no matter the reason, it just hasn't happened. For me, it's not a big deal. It kind of falls in the category of things I can't really control. The way I see it is, if it's to happen, it'll happen. Maybe that thinking's backward and lends itself to the reason why I'm in this position in the first place, but for all intensive purposes, it's the only way I can weed out the real from the fake and the contenders from the fluke.
My philosophy on sexual attraction is this: "You want something or someone bad enough, you'll do whatever to get it, ESPECIALLY conveniently". This is the rule I go by when dealing with women. See, women in this DMV area desire to be chased (most women do as a whole), but in my experience, I've noticed that they become more aggressive when they are infatuated or enamored with something or someone. Check this example out:
So I'm at the club, Ibiza in N.W. I see a young lady that I know from work! This young lady has flirted with me from time to time, but when I try to make advances she says, "I'm not looking at the moment, I'm not into having sex with anyone right now". Now I'm not entirely stupid, but that does suggest that she's not interested in me for whatever reason. Anyways, I hear her talking to her bestie about how she needs sex and would sleep with just about anyone at the moment. But she goes on to talk about a random guy in the club that she's going to try to get it in with and how attractive he looks.
I surely don't know the outcome of that situation, but I did take a mental note of the scenario. Not sure if my point was received, but to me it says that women have many strict rules to which they adhere, but each rule has an exercisable clause that exonerates them from said law. I call this, the DMV rule.
Anyways, I haven't had sex for close to a year and I can honestly say (save for one to two occurences) that I don't really miss it either! Now I'm not completely crazy, I AM a GUY, but it's like that old saying goes..... "out of sight, out of mind"! I can't say that I'd be terrible or bad at it (sex) since I've been off the books for this long either. I'm WAAAAAAYYYYY too competitive and way to sexually arrogant to be anything less than good. Sometimes shit happens, but 90% of the time I'm the "cat's meow". DEFINITELY no complaints....
I don't mean to toot my own horn but, BEEP BEEP......
Maybe I'm reading into this stuff too deeply. I have been known to do that from time to time, but eh, I wouldn't have a sketchy mind if it weren't the case......